The Return of the Mole People 2: Revenge of the Dove Church

Me: You know what I just realized?
Carl: What?
Me: Where do the miners poop?
Carl: Well they just dig holes in the ground and poop in the ground.

Me: But it's going to take 4 months before they can pull them out.  I don't know how much room they have down there.
Carl: That's a good point. 

Me: I can imagine after a month all the spots have to be filled.  Every hole they dig already has poop in it.  After three months it'll be a poop mine field.  It'll be worse then a white trash dog park.

Carl: Well, I'm sure they probably thought of something to take care of that problem.

Me: The Mole people would not be pleased.
Carl: Wouldn't the Mole People just poop anywhere also?
Me: Possibly.  Little is known about mole civilization or plumbing.  I think they may use it as there currency

Carl: That'd be a terrible wallet.  At least the stock market would never crash. 

Me: Mole People are resourceful like that.  They like to recycle everything. 

Carl: That has to be horribly bad for the miners then to be around the Mole People

Me: Not to mention unsanitary since they are bringing them food.  I'd make sure they wash their grubby little paws or hands or whatever they have. 
Carl: Well they got some ventilation.  They got a mine shaft.
Me: Heh...you said shaft.  Shut yo mouth!  He's a complicated man.  And the Mole People love him like a brother.  John Shaft.   You damn right. 
Carl: So why is it taking so long to get them out?  Are the Mole People getting in the way?
Me: Possibly.  Don't underestimate Mole People.  They are sneaky.

Aye Carumuba!!

Carl: Why isn't this bigger news?
Me: Because the Quaran haters need to take up space. 

Carl: They just want attention. 

Me: Yea.  There's no point in burning the books except pissing them off.  If that's the case then Muslims should be allowed to burn the bible and if we're lucky that's all they'll do because those guys don't do anything half way if you get my drift.  Run run.  Boom boom. 

Carl: Yea.  It's just a terrible idea.  General Petraus is asking that the people do not.  Clinton is asking them not to.  They're like the Westboro Baptist Church.

Me: Can't condemn people for the extreme views of one select group of people.  That's like hating the X-Men for it's current crappy run. 

Carl: Current crappy run?  Have you read the recent books? 
Me: I take it back then.  Plus they misspelled Quran.  Not the X-Men but the people of the church.  They spelled it with a K.

Carl: You can spell it that way but the Q is more tradtional. 

Me: Like saying "eye-ran" when it's "ee-ran"  I before E except after C. 

Carl: Maybe the Mole People can settle this. 

Me: I hope not.  They settle everything through sex and violence.

Carl:  I thought they were benevolent.

Me: They are but only up until a point.  Luckily I'm ready for them.

Artist Rendition of World War M.  The M is for Moles

Dig Dug

True Story

ME: "So those Chilean miners are still alive. They still haven't gotten them out."

Carl: "The miners are still alive? How are they getting food?"

Artist Rendition of Mole People may vary

Me: "Benevolent Mole people. They bring the miners food to keep them alive."

Carl: "Wouldn't it be better if the Mole people dug them out?"

Me: "No. Then it would put the Mole people in danger because of the surface world would hunt them down and kill them for their soft hides and creamy insides."

Carl: "So shouldn't they just kill the miners?"

Me: "But they are BENEVOLENT Mole people. So they just want to help the miners but they won't dig them out for the danger of the surface world."

Carl:"These Mole people are short sighted. When the miners are rescued they will say Mole people helped them."

Me: "Ahh. But who will believe the miners. They were stuck in the dark dark ground where they can't see anything. So the miners will be written off."

Carl: "But how will they explain the food and who gave it to them?"

Me: "Mineshaft food vein. It's a rare and uncommon occurance. It's how the Mole people came into being."

Carl: "So why can't we just live with the Mole people in harmony?"

Me: "The Mole People are hunted for hides and their creamy centers so it would start a war between men and Mole People where they dig up and take us under and we use our superior technology to kill and wipe them out. We are that good at killing as a species. We make things go extinct without even really trying."

Carl: "But if they are attacking us from below, won't they just kill us and just like in Tremors?"

Me: "But those are Graboids."

Carl: "What are Graboids?"

Nom nom nom

Me: "Tremors. And have you seen any Graboids lately?"

Carl: "They're underground."

Me: "I know but I meant lately? And that's a no because we are that good at killing things."

Carl: "Poor Mole people. Should've just killed the miners to live in peace."
Me: "I know but it's the benevolent nature of them. Hopefully man will be able to accept the freaks of nature and the differences between our two species. Also that we won't interbreed ever."