Profile in Villiany: Hemo-Goblin

Characters have been used for social commentary before in the past but the proper use for that commentary is questionable at times.  Red Skull and Cap are great chracters for that purpose.  Hemo-Goblin is not.  Now it's a cute play on hemoglobin which is crap you find in blood but he sounds more like a Spider-Man villian since that guy is like a Goblin magnet.  Also a pussy magnet since all he gets are hot girls. 

But back to Hemo-Goblin and his mighty power to infect you with AIDS.  Yes.  AIDS.  That's his only power.  Oh and he's an AIDS vampire.  A fucking VAMPIRE on top of that.  Beat that Edward Cullen.  Not only does he feed off you but also infect you with AIDS.  Now this seems kind of a scary thing out of the Discovery Nature channel but you forget, he's going against fucking superheroes who shoot beams out their butts and are at Galactus level.  I say this because he's not stalking the night in the streets of Gotham which would be a cool idea and better use of his chracter.  No, he's in fucking space where he's fighting the New Guardians, a weird DC sub crew back in the 80's.  If that isn't bad enough for you, he was created by a white supremeist group to kill non-whites and I think gays and possibly jews.  I don't know.  They don't seem to be too through on that during their bed sheet meetings. 

Anyway, THIS is the best they could come up with.  A fucking vampire in a legless leotard looking like a weird giant baby to kill non whites in a couple of years instead of right away.  I mean a fucking shot gun can do a better job in a fight.  A knife, a broken bottle, a naked pic of Lisa Lampinelli can do a better job at killing people.  I mean it's kinda short sighted to create a weapon that can kill you in years and slowly and almost not at all.  Even back for the 80's it was short sigthed like the scene in Underworld where Kate Beckinsdale shoots the ground in a circle in Underworld so that she can drop to the next floor rather spend all those fucking bullets killing the lycans into messy pulps and simply just chasing after the guy by bounding downstairs.  I mean she's fucking strong nearly invincible vampire for christ sakes.  You can't just crash through doors are run superfast? 

But back to Hemo-Goblin.  Bascially he sucks.  I mean yea the Golem Smegal lookin thing might be scary in combat but if his power is to bascially infect me with AIDS while my power is to magically wield an Uzi in his face, I think that I'd win.  Hemo-Goblin's biggest battle was basically against Extrano, a gay REALLY flamboyantly cheesy version of Dr. Strange, and if you've seen how Strange is dressed then you KNOW that's pretty up there.  He infected the gay wizard but the wizard cured himself with a talking skull.  Man I just got dumber for saying that.  This was social commentary but what it's saying I don't know.  I don't even know what the fuck the skull stands for.  Confronting death?  Talk to the spirit of Halloween and the Great pumpkin to cure you? 

A pox on you DC for creating such a thing.