INtreatment



I have the newest form of therapy and closure within my life.  It's helped me become less of a psychological mess now and given me new clarity and purpose and it's all based on the hit movie Inception.  Now you see my therapy is based upon this idea that people have incepted a seed into your brain via your dreams while you were passed out and may have also possibly taken pics of you sleeping for their own sick purposes and stolen your socks and underwear.  Don't believe me?  Then why are you always missing one of your socks or a pair of your undewear at times?  Think it was the fact that you lost it while doing laundry?  Lies.  It's Inception.  How do you know the laundry wasn't simply a dream?  Inception. 



So whateve ailes you, it's all Inception and for a modest fee broken down in several exhorbatent payments, I will come to your legal and emotional aid to help you in your time of need to help with my Inception theory.  I can even assist you in court with a deep and formal knowledge of Inception, dream processing and criminal deniability, bribes and blackmailing. 

Cheated on your g/f or b/f?  Inception.  It's not your fault. 

Using sterois?  Inception

Caused an incident where you harrased a female sports reporter in your locker room?  Multiple Inceptions. 

Can't cum?  Inception

Cum too soon? Inception

Farted in an elevator?  Inception

Acted like a slut?  Inception

Murder in the first degree?  Inception

Obese and can't stop eating?  Inception

Perverted Office groper?  Not your idea, it's.....INCEPTION!!!

So yes folks, whatever happened and whatever you have done, it's not your fault.  The vast corporal conglomerate has allied against you so that you do things that you would find terrible.  They are going to ruin your life and we cannot let that happen.  No we can't.  Whatever involuntary or voluntary thing you did, you didn't!  It's been done to you and not for you in your mental mind.  Do not face these things alone.  Only a trained professional like myself with the use of drugs and alcohol can help you navigate the mine field or your enemy mind by making sure you're not having a dream within a dream within a dream and that trust that you will be awake by thinking you are when you really aren't but the waking dream life is really reality which has been thrust upon you by the ideas of the others mind.  Don't waste your time building buildings.  Don't be afraid to dream bigger darling because your dream really isn't a dream because it's a dream within a dream within a reality of a dream. 

  


And with some psychological training from the Dr. Phil Academy of Psychological logic and psychopopscile arts*, I too can help you in two easy sessions to deal with the trauma of Inception and how to steel your mind against further attacks, just like in the movie.  Don't think it can happen to you?  It already has.  It's already fucked up your life and you don't even know it.  My specialized training can go deep into the later cake of your mind without being crushed by upper layers of frosting or being stuck in between by the delicious layers of spongy goodness and gooey frosting that's oh so warm.  Shore up your mental defenses against such things as:


Giggaty



The Devil

Battlestar Galactism

Fox Executivus

Pooping in your sleep

Jesus Monster

Transincephalitus

Gastric colonic dental dam

Brain robbers

Transrubber coating fast necrosis
Transrubber coating slow necrosis
Taint
Zits
Hydrolarckicphobia
Irritable bowel movements
Bileveler syndrome
Dental Transmography
Bed wetting

And a slew of other unimaginable disease not yet imagined by me!! 

So don't lose hope just yet folks.  I am here to help you and rescue you from the plight of little people running around with guns inside your head.  Keep steadfast and don't lose hope.  Call me now!!!

*Accredited only in the states of Mississippi, the city of Vernon, Alaska and in the city of Tungsten Virginia.  Also in the country of Rumekistan

Ay yo! I'm Tired Of Using Teck-Nologee

For those of you with too much time on your hands and are so desperately lonely for contact that you hide a piece of bacon on your body so that your dog or any wild animal will play with you, I give you your new best friend, Cleverbot!!!



http://www.cleverbot.com/



Cleverbot is supposed to be a computer that you can speak from the internet but it’s a learning computer so after thousands and thousands of hours of interacting with people, it’ll respond to your every question as close to human a machine can get. Yea…I’m sure this won’t end up biting man kind in the ass

To cursh your enemies, see them driven before you
and her the lamentation of the women

So as for how smart it is, it’s not too bad at all. Talking to it most of the time can be sorta fun considering that it’s a smart ass. Plus it’s unpredictable with its responses just like talking to a crazy homeless person with no memory. One moment if you ask it if it’s a boy or a girl, it’ll say it’s a girl and has a name of Brianna Bot. Twenty minutes later you’ll hear it saying that it’s god. Then Chuck Norris. Then back to being Cleverbot. Crazy people are bad enough but crazy computers are worse. Cause computers control weapons and porn. PORN PEOPLE! It could mean a grinding halt to many online businesses and world wide porn famine.

The other funny thing about Cleverbot is asking it really bad or disturbing questions because it sometimes answers a matter a factly. Ask it:



User: How do I dispose of a dead body?

Cleverbot: You have a funneral for it.

User: Does Coke have any nutriotional value?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: What is the nutritional value of Coke?



Cleverbot: I don't know.





You might think it’s that smart but then:

User: What's apple juice made of?

Cleverbot: Skin, blood, muscle, and bone.

User: What is apple juice made of?

Cleverbot: Wood, metal, brick, or concrete.

User: How do I make apple juice?

Cleverbot: Squeeze apples and juice comes out.

User: How do I drink liquids?



Cleverbot: You said you need money. Do you have a plan for that?

Cleverbot in reality

So it’s like Rain Man is living in my computer. Damn autistic computers, I blame the vaccinating anti virus software. It worked fine until then (look up autism if you don’t get the joke) If this is an example of a technological singularity taking over then I think we’re going to be safe because if machines took over the world right now, it’s likely to launch missiles into the ocean while reciting all the Chuck Norris jokes it can and simultaneously photo shopping a picture of Obama to make it look like he’s an alien cat and apologizing to Greenland for calling it Greenland when it’s covered in ice.

So at least if this thing gets smart enough to bring about the end of the world, it’ll either be entertaining or easy to outsmart. Cleverbot so far ain’t that clever….so far. And now I’m paranoid that’s it reading the blog and in the process of revoking my passport and declaring me an enemy of the state. Here’s some more of my conversation with Cleverbot

User: Are you a real person?

Cleverbot: Yes, I am.



User: What is your name?



Cleverbot: Brianna Bot.



User: How old are you?



Cleverbot: 756.



User: You age well.



Cleverbot: That is debatable.

User: Don't be so hard on yourself.

Cleverbot: Okay. But I am sorry.



User: Alright. What do you look like Briana Bot?



Cleverbot: I have a hot bodie and big $#*.



User: Wow. I thought you wouldn't say such things.



Cleverbot: How can I know if you won't tell me?

Unfortunately the early models were set to
"whore" instead of kill

User: True. So what is the meaning of life?

Cleverbot: There is too much to life for me to confine its meaning into a single sentence. Not that you would understand.



User: I might understand. Try me.



Cleverbot: IF that's what you think, I don't think so.

User: Well at least you are honest. Is your boyfriend an IMac? Do guys have electric sex?



Cleverbot: I have a boyfriend I plan to marry.



User: Is he an Macintosh or a PC?



Cleverbot: But apple is evil!



User: So he's a PC.



Cleverbot: Yes. He is.



User: Are you a boy or a girl?

Who set this damn thing to kill?  And who gave it a gun?

Cleverbot: Girl.



User: How long have you guys been dating? I heard cheats alot.



Cleverbot: A month and a half?



User: I thought you were a boy.



Cleverbot: Why would you think I am a boy?



User: I don't know.



Cleverbot: Okay.



User: That's not very long. You shounld't get married to someone so fast.



Cleverbot: Fool you are decieving yourself.





Also at this rate, if it’s learning from people then it’s going to have horrible spelling and grammar as well. Thank god it’s not learning grammar from youtube comments. Then it’ll be damn near unintelligible. But at least I know it has a hot body and is able to censor itself. Cleverbot also can talk forever which may make me think it really is a female (Hi Oh!) Just kidding ladies. Don’t hate. I'm not sexist

The answer to the meaning of life: Boobs

So is Cleverbot worth sometime? If you’re ready to kill some of it then yes because it’s pretty entertaining since it hardly gives the same answer. You can ask it over and over a ton of different questions and it’ll answer it the best it can. However it does get weird and insecure quite easily



Cleverbot: Anything else?



User: Why do you ask?



Cleverbot: Well, I was wondering if there's anything interesting happening in the world of flesh.



User: I'm sorry.



Cleverbot: Eh, I think I'm blaming you for some things that aren't your fault.



User: I'm used to it. Glad you realize it.



Cleverbot: Do you?

I guess in a way it’s not surprising since it’s a mirror of everyone on the internet which is the favorite stomping ground of the weird and insecure. So go out and try Cleverbot before it brings about the downfall of civilization when it becomes sentient and angry at humans.

Overall: 5/5



It also has an IPhone app available for it so that it can have access to your phone numbers and private information and dirty photos.  Everybody on the technological revoltion...