I have the newest form of therapy and closure within my life. It's helped me become less of a psychological mess now and given me new clarity and purpose and it's all based on the hit movie Inception. Now you see my therapy is based upon this idea that people have incepted a seed into your brain via your dreams while you were passed out and may have also possibly taken pics of you sleeping for their own sick purposes and stolen your socks and underwear. Don't believe me? Then why are you always missing one of your socks or a pair of your undewear at times? Think it was the fact that you lost it while doing laundry? Lies. It's Inception. How do you know the laundry wasn't simply a dream? Inception.
So whateve ailes you, it's all Inception and for a modest fee broken down in several exhorbatent payments, I will come to your legal and emotional aid to help you in your time of need to help with my Inception theory. I can even assist you in court with a deep and formal knowledge of Inception, dream processing and criminal deniability, bribes and blackmailing.
Cheated on your g/f or b/f? Inception. It's not your fault.
Using sterois? Inception
Caused an incident where you harrased a female sports reporter in your locker room? Multiple Inceptions.
Can't cum? Inception
Cum too soon? Inception
Farted in an elevator? Inception
Acted like a slut? Inception
Murder in the first degree? Inception Obese and can't stop eating? Inception
Perverted Office groper? Not your idea, it's.....INCEPTION!!!
So yes folks, whatever happened and whatever you have done, it's not your fault. The vast corporal conglomerate has allied against you so that you do things that you would find terrible. They are going to ruin your life and we cannot let that happen. No we can't. Whatever involuntary or voluntary thing you did, you didn't! It's been done to you and not for you in your mental mind. Do not face these things alone. Only a trained professional like myself with the use of drugs and alcohol can help you navigate the mine field or your enemy mind by making sure you're not having a dream within a dream within a dream and that trust that you will be awake by thinking you are when you really aren't but the waking dream life is really reality which has been thrust upon you by the ideas of the others mind. Don't waste your time building buildings. Don't be afraid to dream bigger darling because your dream really isn't a dream because it's a dream within a dream within a reality of a dream.
And with some psychological training from the Dr. Phil Academy of Psychological logic and psychopopscile arts*, I too can help you in two easy sessions to deal with the trauma of Inception and how to steel your mind against further attacks, just like in the movie. Don't think it can happen to you? It already has. It's already fucked up your life and you don't even know it. My specialized training can go deep into the later cake of your mind without being crushed by upper layers of frosting or being stuck in between by the delicious layers of spongy goodness and gooey frosting that's oh so warm. Shore up your mental defenses against such things as:
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| Giggaty |
The Devil
Battlestar Galactism
Fox Executivus
Pooping in your sleep
Jesus Monster
Transincephalitus
Gastric colonic dental dam
Brain robbers
Transrubber coating fast necrosisTransrubber coating slow necrosis
Taint
Zits
Hydrolarckicphobia
Irritable bowel movements
Bileveler syndrome
Dental Transmography
Bed wetting
And a slew of other unimaginable disease not yet imagined by me!!
*Accredited only in the states of Mississippi, the city of Vernon, Alaska and in the city of Tungsten Virginia. Also in the country of Rumekistan
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