Fan Male!!

http://themep.blogspot.com/2010/09/first-fan-mail.html

Check out my letter to the best dern physical therapy blog on the net.  It's what made me the human adonis I am today. 

I CAN'T PUT MY ARMS DOWN AND I HAVE TO PEE!!

Original image here at: http://muk100.deviantart.com/art/Max-Deadpool-2-128654191?offset=10

Check out his site and art.  Great work. 

Mr. Postman...Mr. Postman...what the hell are you bringing me?

Hello PB,

I have a question if you wouldn't mind answering. 

1) PS3 or XBOX 360? 
2) What do you think of the new Superman/Batman movie? 
3) Since you like Halo, can you review Halo Wars?  I don't know if I want it yet. 

Thank you.  I like your blog. 

Frank Tucker
Alberta, Canada

GASP!!  A Canadia person!!  You people have been quite disappointing as a prescience on this blog.  The Danes are whipping you up and down and soon they'll over take you in hockey.  You and your awesome flag and happy people and hockey playing mother cannuckers have been underwhelming to say the least on the blog.  But I'm a big fan of Due South and Canadia Mounties so I shall gladly answer your question.  And lookie...it's numbered for easy access (insert dirty thought and/or joke here)

But before I start, you win the award for the inability to count properly since that is not one question but three and are currently in the running for the proof locker award, which is the award for the lack of a proof reader.  Onto the question

1) Post Scrotumatium level 3 is not a joking manner.  I don't know why you would want such a disease in which your scrotum tries to eat itself so I'd have to say XBOX 360.  It's got the Halo series which is a plus and much better online capabilities.  Sure it's not as fancy as the other systems but it has a variety of better games. 
2) Weee wooo!!!  You exposed my new upcoming review as soon as I can get it on DVD or bootlegged from another source through Vietnamese bootleggers.  Hopefully those guys will forget that I tried to screw them out of paying for TMNT 3.  Those little guys are some angry little fuckers.  I guess they haven't forgot about that whole war thing.
3) It's not CAN I review Halo Wars.  I can and will and do it better in bed ladies*!  And it's a Bungie game.  I don't think they've ever put out a bad game....ever.  So yea.  So look for the review in a couple of weeks.  And good luck on your self eating testicles.  Poor fella.  It's like two pitbulls wrestling in a canvas sack over a bone. 

What happens when you get PS3

*Response to letter was delayed due to blogger flexing in front of mirror incessantly with his fat molded into muscles

Hey Puddin B's

Thanks for the blog and I just wanted to say that I'd really like to say that you're awesome.  Please publish my letter and pick me to be showcased.  I promise to be your best reader and friend.  Muah

Holla at cha girl

Karissa Lee

Hmm...a female blog reader.  Well Karissa all you gotta to is hook me up with a naked sexy video of yours doing something with pudding and you're right as rain for getting put on the site. 

Something like this is also acceptable

Hi Pudding Bordello or Michael or whatever strange lyrical apparatus you call yourself you ghost in my machine. 

I wanted to write in say that I really like your blog and it's really fun to read and I feel that I've found a kindred brother to share my brew with.  And not sharing in a way to drown you but in a way to drink after we drown someone else.  Anyway I request humbly a review of the great and mighty Del Taco Macho Beef Burrito.  Prove that your are a man of men and that you can conquer such a mighty mighty food source of meat.  Quench tha bloodlust and tell us that you survive and what it tastes like.  If you don't have a Del Taco, do a Sonic Frito Chili Pie. 

Also thanks for the workout tips.  Give me a tip about getting bigger.  Thanks. 

Evan Joliet
Los Angeles, California

This is my reason for being the mess I am Evan.
You're worse then I am and I don't want to know why.

Geez.  Can't I just ever get nice normal readers just like that Alexis Diller girl's blog or The MEP site?  Now you win the crazier then me award.  But here you are and although you're scaring the living daylights out of me and turning it into night, I'm glad your wrote in few believer into this piece of the net.  Yea...I got Del Tacos where I'm at and can do a review of the Macho Combo Burrito and prove my manliness to you by sticking a giant white phallic food object into my mouth and cramming it down as much as I can into my maw.  However I may forget since I am busy with other things going on in my life so I'll try to get to it as soon as possible.  And Sonic's are rarer then Del Taco's.  Why must you torture me by giving me obscure food sources?  I live in the city.  Not the damn woods.  Stop making it hard for me and try to kill me with model lingerie bowl players instead of a massive coronary where the plasma in my blood turns to solid and wreeks of delicious delicious greasy meat.  We got a Sonic though so we shall see what I can get.  If you care that much...click on banner ads and help get me paid so that I can continue to provide you with quality edutainment and borderline drivel for free.  It's really costing you nothing.  Just a mouse click.  Or else I have to resort to selling out to subliminal                                                                                      advertising

Oh and as for getting bigger, two words: Penis pump.  OR just be happy with what God gave ya. 

Alright...those are about all the lette....ahh...time I mean I have for letters.  So remember if you need anything reviewed....





The Workout Plan

Dear Michael,


Although I throughly enjoy your blog and all it's funny things, I have yet to see more fitness entries.  I liked the P90X blog but you need more of the fitness blog entries.  I am currently trying to lose weight and my boyfriend is trying to get bigger and cutter and leaner.  What advice can you give us? 

Adda Widewelt-Copenhagen, Denmak

PS.  Sorry for my English

Ooo.  Danish letter AND a female reader.  You're english is fine.  Have you read my blog?  You speak English better then I can write most of the time.  Plus I think you had better spelling then I do AND you're a Danish girl but you have a boyfriend so that's just a point off however he's not from Canadia so I can forgive that. 

As for working out to lose weight you gotta keep in mind that working out is only half the battle (GI JOE!) and that what you eat is the important part as well.  Don't be that person that worksout for an hour and then goes to get the giant combo pack from Wienerschnitzel and a mocha latte because the only weight you're going to lose is in your dinner plate when you take it back.  So be ready to starve a bit but not in a bad way.  When I mean starve I mean that you're going to gradually get your body ready to the smaller amounts of food or types of food that aren't necessarily as filling.  So you're going to go a bit hungrier but the thing is that you need to fill up on water and fruit.  Lots of water is great for you and can act as a cleanser ad pick me  up as well as it may alleviate some depressive symptoms since your body and brains is made of water as opposed to mine which is primarily made of Twinkies and Tacos.  That may accound for some of my spelling errors. 

Combine that with exercise, well proper exercise then it will help to tone down some of your hunger cravings since exercise can signal the body to stop being so hungry.  Now after an intense exercise your body needs to replenish nutrients and repair damage so you can be hungry after that but usually a good protein shake with WHEY protein and Dextrose will do the job.  Whey absorbs quicker and dextrose is a carbohydrate to help reinforce muscle tissue so yes you do need carbs after you work out.  But those are not whole foods (foods that are in whole form such as bread and chicken, etc.)

Now getting ripped and bigger, that's harder to do.  You need to choose one and go with it.  Say for instance, you get ripped, once you do, then you can concentrate on changing up your body so that you may eat greater contents of food to allow for more muscle mass.  But be warned that it's going to take awhile.  And if you want to gain, be sure to use supplements.  Now also you may feel a bit tired at times due to the change so you have to be careful about certain supplements that give you energy and help burn fat because most of those are caffeine based.  A bit of caffeine is great since it gives you energy and is an appetite suppressant however DO NOT RELY ON IT.  Your body will get more and more addicted to the caffeine and crap in it so your body will not be able to function as properly without it. 

So there you go Adda.  Don't be sure to trust that serpant of a b/f with you because he will lead you astray.  Get a good nutritionist and stick with it under threat of death.  Now go do that while I say your last name over and over again.  Widewelt, Widewelt, Widewelt, Widewelt...

BEEFCAKE!!  FLEX BABY!!  GRRR!! GRR!!  GRR-oops...
pooped my pants a bit