Ask Michael

Dear Michael,

The Beast from the East.  Best in the West.  Thanks for your blog and a ton of your entries and I think it's mostly ok  However I gotta say that I have to say that the biggest drawback to the site is the fact that you're too sporadic about your posts.  I can't tell what you'll review next so maybe a headsup would be nice so we can know what to expect.  But the biggest thing I love about the site are the Deadpool pics.  Where do you find those?  Are those from your collection?  Do I have to sacrafice a goat to your gods so that you will never lose Deadpool pics? 

Also as for some advice: My girlfriend is mad at me because I made a bad compliment.  I mean she's hotter then the Tattooine sun near the pit of the Sarlac.  She was mad.  What gives?  I said she was hot.  Help me Pudding Bordello.  You're my only hope. 

Jason Greenwood,
Big Hole Valley Montana



Beast from the East?  Best in the West?  My cliche sense is tingling.  But I gotta say mostly ok?  I would be offended if your town name wasn't so hilariously homo AND heterosexual.  So I can forgive it.  Yea.  I know my posts are random and sporadic much like the structure of the letter you wrote and judging by the gramme you win the  award for most corrected grammar in the state of Montana.  As for the states we'll have to see other letters but so far you're number 1!!!  But for my posts, I could put what's coming up but then I'd be a blog tease because then I'd realize you're serious and then I'd get uncomfortable and then it ends up like Joan from Mad Men.  I just can't follow through since I'm a sporadic kinda fellow and you gotta grab on like a Womp Rat out of hell.  But tell ya what I can do though is that I do take requests but remember you have to keep it something I can do, like asking me to rate riding on the space shuttle or being Kim Kardashians thong is going to be hard.  Unless you click on the banners which gives me, Michael, cash money that I can use said money as a gateway to the said thing you want me to review or Deadpool comics. 

Honey, you might want to see the gyna...gynocolo..the
vagina doctor

Speaking of which, I find Deadpool pics a plenty on the net.  If there's a Deadpool pic, I got it.  But dont' worry artists, I'll give you credit and ask permission because I'm not into raping the art you got.  Man...I feel dirty responding to this letter.  I suggest you not sacrifice a goat but rather a large rat of some sort that you name Fidel just in case I ever run out of DP pics or the fact that I feel dirty from all the rape references (Poor poor busty curvy Joan and her busty curvy curves)

Hmm...a girl that's mad for no real reason?  Yea...she sounds like a woman.  But in this account, you were out of line Big Sky Boy (which is a great porn name).  Boba Fett nearly died at the pit of the Sarlacc but 12 other intergalactic alien criminals were not so fortunate, cause they fell into the pit of Carkoon of the all powerful Sarlacc, where they find a new definition of pain and suffering, as they are slowly digested over a thousand years.  So too soon buddy....too soon.  Nearly half a century is not enough time.  However I even suggest you can fix this by telling her that she's not as crazy as she acted and that only slightly like her mother.  Then compare her eye of Sauron in some way or say her mustache is much nicer then the cows you have out their in Montana and that cow maybe your next g/f if you don't play your cards right. 

I have a Deadpool pic for almost all occasions.  I'm awesome and have no need
for a girlfriend.