The blog is fantastically great but you’re ignoring one of your biggest fan bases: Zombie eaters. We corpse munchers need love too. I love zombie flesh but it’s so hard to cook. Do you have any tips on eating zombies? Great blog. Keep writing them updates.
Josh - Massachusetts
Well Josh, being that you’re from Massachusetts I have to automatically assume that you’re used to being assaulted by zombie Kennedys and Colonial soldiers. Also t I’m more used to killing zombies then eating them and lord knows I have to question your sanity in the reason for eating zombies. Anyway aside from suggesting psychiatric help, I have a handy dandy zombie cook book here.
The zombies from Massachusetts are going to be a different flavor from the zombies from the West Coast. Also considering that you’re actually crazy enough to actually want to eat a zombie makes you you’re going to get more of the colonial, George Washington type zombies that you get to munch on. So you get more of a hickory smoked flavor with healthier crap in them. With that out of the way you have to first:
1) Kill the zombie…again that is. Be sure to shoot it in the face or the neck so that you sever the brainstem. Nothing more annoying when your meal tries to bite back. If you have a flame thrower, then it cuts to the chase since you have to cook it anyway.
2) Zombies have a lower threshold for being cooked so be sure to put it out as soon as you can. Nothing worse than overcooked zombie meat since you lose most of what little nutrients that are left. 3) DO NO THROW AWAY THE BONES!! That’s where the best parts are. The marrow is the best part of it and is cooked properly.
4) Spray the zombie with the appropriate sauce while cooking.
5) Munch away.
Zombie brain Smoothie
1) Have the zombie head ready but don’t remove the jaw. Just be careful since you’re not going to be face to face with the zombie. However if you get bit, you’re going to want to do this recipe fast.
2) Lop the top of its head off and expose the brain. Pour some grinded or chipped ice into the top of it along with your favorite blended fruit
3) Swirly straw. That’s all I gotta say about that. Enjoy!
So here it all is Josh. Enjoy your zombie feast before you turn into one and try to eat me. I may suggest your strategy of turnabout against the zombie horde might not work so well but then your sanity of living in Massachusetts over the winter time has me questioning your sanity in general. Bon APPETITE!!!
Hey, thanks Mike! I was really having a hard time figuring some of the logistics of preparation and wasted tissues like bone or organs. The tips were great. Previously, I was hiding mini explosives in meat as bait. So I was completely destroying the brains without realizing their potential as an incredible, vitalizing drink. *On a side note: yes, I lost me marbles in Peter Pan, but zombies are ludicrously delicious, and Captain Hoffman's hook works great as a lure.
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