Dig Dug

True Story

ME: "So those Chilean miners are still alive. They still haven't gotten them out."

Carl: "The miners are still alive? How are they getting food?"

Artist Rendition of Mole People may vary

Me: "Benevolent Mole people. They bring the miners food to keep them alive."

Carl: "Wouldn't it be better if the Mole people dug them out?"

Me: "No. Then it would put the Mole people in danger because of the surface world would hunt them down and kill them for their soft hides and creamy insides."

Carl: "So shouldn't they just kill the miners?"

Me: "But they are BENEVOLENT Mole people. So they just want to help the miners but they won't dig them out for the danger of the surface world."

Carl:"These Mole people are short sighted. When the miners are rescued they will say Mole people helped them."

Me: "Ahh. But who will believe the miners. They were stuck in the dark dark ground where they can't see anything. So the miners will be written off."

Carl: "But how will they explain the food and who gave it to them?"

Me: "Mineshaft food vein. It's a rare and uncommon occurance. It's how the Mole people came into being."

Carl: "So why can't we just live with the Mole people in harmony?"

Me: "The Mole People are hunted for hides and their creamy centers so it would start a war between men and Mole People where they dig up and take us under and we use our superior technology to kill and wipe them out. We are that good at killing as a species. We make things go extinct without even really trying."

Carl: "But if they are attacking us from below, won't they just kill us and just like in Tremors?"

Me: "But those are Graboids."

Carl: "What are Graboids?"

Nom nom nom

Me: "Tremors. And have you seen any Graboids lately?"

Carl: "They're underground."

Me: "I know but I meant lately? And that's a no because we are that good at killing things."

Carl: "Poor Mole people. Should've just killed the miners to live in peace."
Me: "I know but it's the benevolent nature of them. Hopefully man will be able to accept the freaks of nature and the differences between our two species. Also that we won't interbreed ever."