Winner Winner Chicken Dinner!!

In the already saturated chicken sandwich market were scores and valleys of chicken breasts are stuck between two pieces of bread, McDonalds has now introduced the Southern Style Chicken Sandwich. The “…perfect sandwich. So simple, so juicy, so perfectly seasoned….” chicken breast that only the laziest and cheapest of bachelors can afford to make this. This is probably just the worst gimmick they can possible make to cram another chicken sandwich down America’s already bloated throats. And I’m going to try it!

So after going to my local Mickey D’s on 4th, (man did I just date myself by calling it Mickey D’s) and picking up the sandwich, I settled into the my comfy seat at my desk and carefully scrutinized my new lunch. Now ok, so since it’s since it’s supposed to be southern style, I guess that means it’s supposed to be kinda spicy and simple and not that great for you since the damn thing is mostly meat. The only vegetables are 3 razor thin transparent pickles and whatever lettuce remnants which managed to be accidentally rubbed on. This is a sad sandwich to look at. I mean sure it’s a mighty breast (that’s what she said) but you gotta have a bit of mix of some other ingredients . I mean the fucking sandwich is 90% breast and is it quality breast? Actually kinda so you got me there McDonalds. But come on! It’s not a bad sandwich for 2.89 really but I’d still like a some kinda of veggie or something else on it. I mean Jack in the Box’s regular chicken sandwich which is kinda the same thing is a dollar. And it actually comes with other ingredients.

And what does this say about the south? That they’re idea of fine cuisine is just a piece of meat with bread. MEAT WITH BREAD!? COME ON MCDONALDS! THIS IS BASICALLY A HOT DOG! Put some other crap in this sandwich to make it worth the money. Southern cooking isn’t known the world over but they got better things then poor folks food on the menu. The south kinda has a bad enough rap with the Confederate flag and the twangy accents, which are kinda cool and kinda sexy on hot girls but this is besides the point. It kinda makes me want to Cobra Clutch the chef’s at McDonalds so the blood remains in their heads so they can come up with something better.

So I finally bit into the damn thing and I was pleasantly surprised. I mean the breakfast burrito to I ate months ago was alright but this was much better then that. Or my expectations were so low that even McDonalds can finally meet it. Anyway, this thing actually isn’t too bad. I thought it was going to be a cheap chicken breast that you get in every other McDonalds sandwich but this is actually a different type of chicken breast. Way to go Mickey D’s (argh…gotta stop calling it that). But I don’t really taste all the spices and herbs that McDonalds promises. I had to chomp on it and carefully comb through each part of the sandwich with my tongue to find the spices of it all and it was fucking insane to do so! I felt like a UN weapons inspector looking for weapons of mass destruction a couple years back before the Iraq war. And buttery buns. I don’t know what kind of butter this is but its invisible tasteless butter. McDonalds, did you use invisible tasteless butter or did you use as little butter as possible on the bun because you think butter will turn into currency someday in the near future? More flavor damn it!
Overall it isn’t something I spat out and ran to the bathroom and scraped out my tongue with a rock with. It was actually a descent sandwich but not up to the hype that the ad peoples want you to believe it as. As much as I rag on McDonalds, they’ve kinda come up in the recent years with healthier stuff and coffee that tastes pretty good. But this one was a miss, airball, Patrick Ewing missing the dunk during the finals. If you didn’t hype it up as a flavor full piece of fast food gourmet straight from the south, then I wouldn’t have minded it. But you had to do it ad peoples. You just had to do it.

Overall
3/5