Inez Sainz And The Ding A Lings

Backfield in motion...how can I
NOT make that joke?



Sweet Coreillian Cheeseburger this woman is hot!!!!  I don't give two fucks about in depth game analysis or experience in speaking about the game of football.  Just send in the woman and leave it be.  I don't even care if she knows anything about football.  Just let her stand there.  Sorry Ronnie, Howie and Terry.  You guys are going to have to have your circle jerk somewhere else. 

And I gotta know, how many boners does this woman bring up in the locker room?  I know that she's not the only woman who's come into the pipe swingers convention but jeez she's an extra layer of hot with that accent.  SAYONARA!!  And they said I can't speak Spanish.....



My Schwartz is bigger then yours



But by now everyone knows the fact that she's been harassed by the NY Jets in the locker room as she waited for her interview because she's a hot girl.  I know most and most of the world think about this kind of stuff and say that she shouldn't have been dressed so hotly and in a male dominated, sport locker room, alpha thumping locker room full of homo erotic men showering and trying to avoid bumping uglies and NOT expected to be harassed and viewed upon as a sex object.  True, you can't dress a certain way and expected to be treated differently.  It's like the time I dressed up as a hot dog at McDonald's and was beaten up....or wait...was that a dream?  DAMN INCEPTION!!!  But in seriousness, an example would be the woman getting raped because she dressed to sexy and walked down sodomy alley in high heels in the dark.  She shouldn't have dressed as such right?





But really, how far have we really come in society when we have to teach people not to be jerks.  I mean yes I know she's like Ms. BOING however we gotta know a bit better then that to behave.  Who'd like it if they're family member acted like that?  I mean I'm told all the time: "Don't be that guy."  It's what we're taught as human beings not to treat people that way.  She dressed to something to the effect to the picture on the right and yes, it's pretty sexy but sorry, doesn't give you licence to go nuts like a Tex Avery cartoon.  Actually I think she just wore a white t-shirt but I think you get the point.  But I know it's not a simple world but a descent person stays descent because of who they are.  Nurture does play a part but really, can't the world be more like me and replace sexual frustration by burying it into a mental illness or transfer it into mindless violence with hilarious bits of quips?  I've heard it's common sense that you shouldn't dress such a way since it invites harassment and attention but it's also common fucking sense that anyone is going to feel uncomfortable if you sexually harass them and such.  Also acting like a douche can get you eviscerated like that fucking Trix Rabbit...trying to get my Trix.  I mean for christ sakes, it's a locker room, not a strip club and strippers at least get paid for what they do.  She's a reporter not a hooker.  Even though she does trade on her sexuality to get ahead by giving some guy a head.  HI OH! 

Serious reporters requires dressing seriously





Poppin Wood

In defense, you got to remember that it's a different mentality for athletes who are pumped and pushed to win in the most alpha way possible and that people need to understand that.  I mean I can't wear meat boxers to a zombie plagued or bring my sex thong to a beach (darn women always...wait...DAMN INCEPTION!!) and expected to not get stares.  Social etiquette does require such a thing because well men are quite stupid and women are kinda nuts.  I mean I can't be too mad at the guys for acting that way but I think that women DO have to take some responsibility in the matter.  A girl has the right to dress sexy and it's not an invitation to rape her, but if said woman walks into a prison, then well....you gotta lay some responsibility on the girl cause you gotta be responsible for personal safety and for situational awareness.

Ron Kantowski of the Las Vegas Review-Journal (http://www.lvrj.com/sports/three-up--three-down-103230479.html) however had a point I have to agree with, why do we need to be in the locker room at all?  I can see it for big champion celebrations and such but does a reporter need to be in there for every game?  I'm sure it's been awkward for guys too in there since watching a bunch of naked dudes swing around fleshy lances of glory isn't exactly something you want to see so much.  I mean there has to be a happy medium for this like waiting for the players outside. 

Recreation of event  *Note: Recreation dramatized for
maximum hilarity

It's a bit of a sticky situation but I think everyone has lost a bit of personal responsibility, not common sense in this matter.  Ines Sainz wasn't walking down sodomy way with high heels nor were the guys being bad guys, they're were a bit pumped (hopefully not literally) after the game.  It's a man's world but it wouldn't be nothing without a woman or a girl....cause then we'd be homosexuals. 

Public Service Annoucment

This has been a public service annoucement. 

Smells Like Teen Spirit



Official Hellcats drinking game:  Take a shot everytime
you see a mid-drift.

Alright so the new season of TV is in swing and that I'm all in cause I need to watch something while I write or workout or whatever (whatever doesn't always mean look for porn...I mean...the keyword is always).  Usually to feed my superhero fetish I of course watch Smallville and of course the amazingly awesome Supenatural.  So here comes my surprise when I stumbled onto my Friday timeslot to find a bunch of blonde cheerleaders instead.  Normally I'd be happy to see such things but I was expecting some kind of story line.  However I stayed with Hellcats mostly because I couldn't find the remote so I decided that I could zone out most of it and sneak peaks at some hard bodied and nubile young cheerleaders.  That sounds alot like high school except I'm not under the bleachers or holding a trombone (and yes there is a dirty joke in there). 

So as I kept watching, Hellcats actually wasn't too bad at all.  The writing isn't exactly Aaron Sorkin but this IS a show about cheerleaders and yes it's kinda like Bring It On the TV show but with a some miscasting.  Let me get to that but not before looking at this.....



Edgy outsiders always choose
Paul Frank



So Hellcats follows Marti (Alyson Michalka...yea I know.  I wanna call her Milk of Magnesia), a too cool for school yet brilliant smart outsider who's a pre law college girl from the wrong side of town because she wears all black.  That's how you can spot outsiders in TV black.  Sometimes they ARE black.  Now being from the wrong side of the tracks means that you gotta have fucked up parents and Marti's mom really fucked up since she lost her scholarship so Marti is forced to use her early gymnastic training to replace an injured cheerleader since cheerleaders get full rides at this school.  There she makes various friends, one being the surprisingly non-bitchy captain Savannah Monroe (Ashley Tisdale who's really nubile as a brunette) and the rest as they live together and eat together and do it all together in a porno setup without the actual porn occuring. 

Is it like Bring It On?  Yes.  I mean if fucking has dizzy Tissydale who was in like Bring It On 12 and who played a cheerleader in ten other movies.  Plus we got Milk of Magnesia in it who I'm sure did some kind of high school cheerleader movie stuff as well. But as for the rest of the cast you got Gail O'Grady playing a fuckup parent who means well instead of a cop or something on NYPD Blue (anyone still remember that show) and others who I can't remember and don't want to IMDB.  Michalka however I feel is a bit miscast or misdirected.  Since she's supposed to be the harder edged Eliza Dushku character but doesn't have the edge that Dushku brings.  She's Dushku light since there's not as much intensity.  Tisdale does play the sweet, petite, overly neat peppy cheer captain but there are some minor moment of drama where she does excel at such as the second episode in which we find out her parents disowned her for not going to the family college.  But again it's at CW, pre teen level which she's played alot.  But I do see some promise in Tisdale's acting ability and think if she transitioned to more adult roles she'd begin to really grow.  Milk of Magnesia however is at a bit of a impasse where she seems ready for the more adult harder roles but still needs time to play in the high school dramedy place to build up her chops. 



Jailbaity but 100% less illegal



However both are really hot.  I mean if you think there's just navel gazing with bare belly's then you're going to get mounds of that like mana from the heavens, and what sweet mana it is.  So you got that much eye candy and it's in spades.  The cast is descent.  I don't see any breakout stars but it seems like they all know their roles and fill them.  The biggest level of chemistry is between President Robin Palmer (DB Woodslide from Buffy and 24) who plays the team doctor Derrick Altman and Vanessa Lodge played by Sharon Neal.  If you're good enough at TV trivia then you should have no problems deciphering the above sentence. 

So all I can say is that it's a CW show.  Not a bad one but it seems that the CW is going back to the old WB Buffy/Dawsons Creek teen arena.  I mean it seems to be what works and did give us a good show in the short lived Reaper and Smallville.  So Hellcats does have some potential in the female audience and a male one since there are a ton of hot girls prancing nubiley around.  The lighting isn't terrible but I think the shows still trying to find it's footing so the style of the show isn't set yet.  But the one thing I have to say that it seems the premise is going to wear thin after about episode 4 but I'm waiting and seeing so far.  So it's guilty pleasure.  Sue me.  The dance choreography is pretty cool with lots of work you can tell going into the authenticity of the cheerleading. 

Again, not a terrible show but not a great one either since the scenes are about Disney channel level but slightly older and more risque.  It's not bad as a guilty pleasure but the plots are beginning to wear a bit thin so here's to hoping that it can do something interesting and soon.  Tom Welling, the actor who plays Clark Kent/Stuporman in Smallville is an executive producer with his finely chisled face and abs.  And I'm sure if the show survives, he'll do some directing and possibly a guest spot so we can see him mixing it up with the nuile young dressed cheerleaders and their slightly hookerish uniforms as the new cool kid who transfered from rich cool kid high.

Tom Welling Guest as the kid who wears long sleeve
shirts with short sleeve shits with long sleeve shirts.



So go check out Hellcats before it hits DVD's and you miss those personally tailored hot uniforms.

Overall: 3/5

Here's to you Denmark!!!

Hi everyone. Looking over my stats, my biggest fan source is from right here in the good ol U S of A. However I was really surprised that the second place winner who I thought would be Canada but it’s actually Denmark. Yes, Denmark is officially kicking maple leaf ass. Congratulations Denmark and you’re kicking ass not by a narrow margin, but by an impressive, fat American waist size. As for you Canada, I’m ashamed. Time to step up yo game. You guys are the land of Mounties and Deadpool. For shame.

But this isn’t about Canada. This is a time to celebrate DENMARK! That tiny island nation that thought it could and did. So here’s to you Denmark and all that’s Danish.

Beowulf

Victor Borge

Free emergency and healthcare

College education at no cost

Legos

Vikings

Lars Ulrich

Brigitte Nielsen and Connie Nielsen (no relation)

Viggo Mortenson

and Danish's

 

And Hot Danish Girls

She's part Danish.  Which part I dont know.
Probably like a foot or a toe or something

Guess which one is a porn star.  One of them really is a porn star.

So here's to you Daneland.  Land of Danes.  Denmark.  May you continue to bake delicious pastry and give birth to hot women.  Thank you for being a part of the Pudding Bordello

Cosplay 2: The Cute, The Bad and the Weird

Welcome back to Cosplay part 2. But before we break into the childhood realm of cosplay, check out Cristina Vee. Again, a talented cosplayer/singer/voice actress/actress/fan girl/Sailor Eros (the tenth and secret Sailor Moon girl)/ bad ass/blog contributor/ future award winner of the academy emmy oscar award globe.

So go check her out at:
www.cristinavee.com




Yes that is a sword but it doens't mean she's happy to see you.


So go see Cristina and check out part 1


Now for:
The Cute.



But before I start I have to not cuss since children maybe reading this portion or even say anything inappropriate so I have get saying: Purple headed cocksucking son of a bitch. Goddamn skunk fucker asshole. OR Anal party down with the chance of a donkey punch. OR Alligator fuckhousing OR damn. Ok. It’s out of my system at least for now.


If anyone likes dressing up it’s burlesque dancers. But also kids love to cosplay as well. You’ll see usually a couple of kids at comic con in their cute outfits either running around, excited to be dressed up as their favorite character, pretending to fight evil, or commit it. OR you’ll see them crying and being led around, dressed up like their parents in costume which makes them turn out like I did as a kid


So do the rules of Cosplay apply to kids? Not really. Cause the little buggers are so cute that it’s impossible to look bad. Unless the kid is ugly.



Classic example. Kid has on PJ’s basically. Now if I wore one piece PJ’s then I would be laughed out of IHOP while which led to that fight and 50 hours of community service (lousy crappy IHOP with delicious pancakes. I swear vengeance). But the kid is so cute that you just exchange his ignorance for excitement and bask in the cuteness and the apparent cheap laziness of his flocking parents.


I don’t know if this was Cos-Play or the kid was just passing by. Either way good costume or darned Asians who can't find there way around town.


Cool costume? You bet. Uncomfortable girl? Big ol check. Throwing the helmet in a fit of rage while she does not want to be dressed up at a comic con that her parents are dragging her to because they need to experience there psychotic love of Voltron by fracking subjugating it upon their daughter which causes years of therapy and violent hatred of cats and multicolored objects which makes her go bat pooey in Ikea? Yea. But I can’t imagine why you’d make this thing because the kids gonna grow out of it in like six seconds and bust out of it like a shirt worn by the Hulk. Gosh darned lint licking parents


Random Hot Ariel. What? She's a Disney princess. The kids like her. And she's hot. It fits perfectly.
Hey!!! I’m also following the rules to my own cosplay portion blog by not cussin. Yay!


Also…make sure it’s a costume your kids want to wear. When he said he wanted to be Boba Fett I don’t think this is what the kid meant.


I really hope there isn’t a kid in that Kirby. Or at least that Kirby just ate the kid and spit him out.


Now I just want to give them candy. Wait not that way. I mean in a Halloween get off my lawn way.


Mildly disturbing but prattlin Pitfall Harry is he just adorable. Now someone get this kid away from me before he bites me knee caps off or spears me in my junk. Damn cootie queened kid with his sharp objects


Awww...it's like Chewbacca had sex with a white woman and this abortion against God and all the holy angels.


This is also just another awesome costume. Plus you got the whole hand cannon thing which looks great.


Hit girl wants cookies!!! Even though she can't even say the name of the comic she's dressed as out loud or she'll get a time out.

Oh hell…just go awwww already and look at these.








Now don’t go too far and dress up your kid if they don’t want to or dress them up in a costume they hate. And for GODSAKE, don’t put make up on them unless they want it. It’s cosplay. Not Toddlers and Tiaras you crazy fuuuu...flugtaging carosel riders!!




And I’m glad I can cuss now because this is just creepy and angerful to my eyes. I just know they won't end up like me when I was a kid...



Which also brings me to:

The Bad:

YES!!! Something to take my anger out on and scar the rest of you. Double win!


Awww…lookie at Sad pot bellied Sinestro. Cower in fear at his depressive outlook and addiction to cookies!!! He just looks more like a sad elf. I almost can’t pick on this costume but too bad for him it’s an almost. Sinestro here has got a lot of great points except the yellow doesn’t inspire fear but cowardice. I think that’s why he’s so depressed and binging on yellow cookies (or Danish’s). And it’s not been kind to his gut. I’d like to see him fight skinny hal Jordan in an eating contest.



Check out Wolverine in his adolescent rage. He could’ve at least found a costume that fit a bit better. It’s like he’s wearing a Magnum but he’s not a Magnum sized guy. I guess that’s why he makes up for it with a fearsome look on his face. He’s the best at what he does and what he does is look constipated. And he’s ready for all challengers to the title of Wolverine!! First opponent, this guy!!




Random hot Ariel!!!




I have not idea what this is or how it came to being. Good lord. The sad thing is that he doesn’t know it’s comic con. Or even that they have indoor plumbing. It also looks like he’s dressed as an anime character which affirms my belief that anime fans have a higher percentage ratio of weird people that mask their insanity with eccentric harajuku type outfits. I gotta say he’s very limber for a fat guy though.




You know…usually I like creative and dark but this is just in bad taste. Also, I have to question if those bruises are real since I don’t know any girl who’d like to cos play a sexual assault victim. It’s just wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong. Like watching a puppy thrown into a wood chipper or Tucker Carlson. Come on woman!! He’s shorter then you by like a foot!! How menacing is it to be threatened by Radar from Mash?


There’s nothing wrong with this. It’s all that’s right with the world. I’m not sure if it’s comic related but I don’t care. I just needed to wash the taste out of my mouth for this upcoming pic



Oh god! It’s like the corpse of Chris Farley ate the corpse of John Candy and possessed that kid Chunk from the Goonies who was eaten by fat Austin Powers. Looking at this creates so many philosophical questions: Why is he dressed that way? What is he supposed to be? Is this even from a comic or anime con? Although the censor bar is kinda small I have to note




This needed a double dose of hotness to wash that taste out of your mouth. At least dress up as something relevant. Gah….and clothed if you aren’t in shape. Or a dude.



Whatever you do….don’t ask him what time it is. DO NOT ASK HIM WHAT TIME IT IS.


And I have no idea what she is dressed as or what is in her hand. My guess would be Samus from Metroid without the suit but that wouldn’t explain that weird grabby thing in her hand. No doubt my perveted mind thinks it’s a sexual device. Hopefully a good sexual device or a ass scratcher.



RANDOMHOTARIELRANDOMHOTARIELRANDOMHOTARIELRANDOMHOT...Move out of the way Cinderella you damn silly slipper bitch!





Ok…tip of the day. If you want to Cosplay robots or robotic suits, be prepared to spend good money.









Batman has his backup trash Batman. Iron Man has his paper Iron Man, mainly because he sold his armor for scotch. Scotchy scotch scotch.


Bitches love War Machine. And for good reason because if you paid the money for the costume, you must have some money for other shit too.



Tip 2 about robot cosplay
The more shinier it is, the better it looks.


Bad Samus


Better Samus


Best Samus

So rule of thumb? If you can’t afford it, just don’t do it.

I do have this as an alternative:


This ain’t too bad if not for the tiny tiny luger next to the satellite dish he uses as a shield. How the hell can you even throw that thing? Did you rip it off a fucking hubcap off a monster truck? You would need a cybernetic arm to hold up that thing.

Here's another tip: You can never fuck up a Star Wars costume.

Technically you can but you got the Storm Trooper option which looks cool OR a Jedi since you’re basically dressed in a bathrobe.



Someone’s gunna get popped


Oh and I did find a bad Sailor Moon.



I’m sure she is a nice person who has an ugly stick growing out of her face


The Weird

Now cosplay has got it share of weirdos. Actually comics and animes are a haven for weirdos not surprisingly. But comic con, like the night, brings out the freaks. And not the good ones.


Umm…I think he probably got this idea from a fan fic which ain’t too bad But it’s still no less weird.


She feels the power of the dark side…of the month. I think she’s got some cramps about her right now it looks like which means she’s probably choking out every male Imperial Officer she can get her hands on. But nothing can beat…


Hello Kitty Vader!! I have no idea why someone would create such a thing. “Luke. I am your father.” Luke: “Are…are you sure? Tell me who my mother is.” Vader: “Well…you see you didn’t exactly had a mother….”I take back what I said about not fucking up Star Wars


You think a fat guy would do Mojo which would actually look pretty cool with the right makeup but this ain’t too bad either. Why is it weird? Well….why would someone want to do Mojo? That’s just weird.


TIP: Just don’t cosplay animals. It gets weirder and weirder after awhile. Keep it light…like this guys sister who wore the same outfit




No matter which way it goes, bad or good, it just falls into furry territory. Not the good furry territory at all.


You know….he does fill out the costume nicely. He’s got the legs for it. But Cosplay isn't the time for your cross dressing fetish

GAAKKK!!!


This is Vash from Trigun Maximum which is the black and white manga….get it? Black and white manga…yea. It’s just weird to me too since the guy took time to color his FACE and hair grey so he looks like a damn zombie. Hmm…better shoot him to be sure.


I still can’t think of a perverted fish joke here. Someone help me.


AHHHH!!! KILL IT!!! KILL IT!!! KILL IT BEFORE HE TAKES 100 EPISODES TO CHANGE INTO HIS NEXT FORM AND ANOTHER 35 POWERING UP!!!


AH!!! KILL IT!!! KILL IT!! THE COCA COLA COMPANY DEMANDS IT!!!


AH!! KIL…oh wait…it’s just Ron Jeremy. This is ok. Sadly though it’s a downer since this is what Mario would probably look in real life. Imagine if you’re the princess and you’re saved by this guy who by the looks of it, is ready to come rape you. Bowser might be more preferable because I'm pretty sure he's got a trouser snake that's gonna lay some pipe. Come on...how can I not make plumbing sex joke with hedgehog here.


Whoa. I guess he’s happy to see….everybody.


He could’ve at least painted himself silver. I do wonder if I took a blow dryer to him if he’ll pop pop corn out of his body now. Wait…that’s not even a real surfboard. It’s a damn body board. He lame would that be if you say a guy on a silver body board coming in. This is not majestic. This is the opposite of majestic. It’s like being pulled over by a bike cop.


Is it me or did Trunks suddenly get hot? I hope to God that’s a chick because what can be seen cannot be unseen unless you have that machine that causes drain bammage.



Whether or not this is a good or bad Futurama costume, we all still lose. I just hope he didn’t go really authentic because the real Zap Brannaga wears a thong.


Again...not that kind of convention





…oh yea…I’ll remember 


And yes…I’ve turned that into a sexual double entendre. Show you my twelfth level mage….heh heh…..ew…I just creeped myself out.


I get that it’s V for Vendetta in that scene where he’s cooking breakfast but seriously dude, stop being so Asian and get a damn prop of a frying pan. Scared the shit out of me if someone came to breakfast like that. In fact…I HAVE come to breakfast to someone cooking eggy in a basket in a Guy Fawkes mask. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.


Random hot Ariel…doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue like random hot Rikku but it does it’s job.


Bonus:
Cospool: The art/science/insanity of cosplaying Deadpool

So now that our beloved Merc with a mouth has now become a public staple of the Marvel universe, there is no doubt more Deadpool cosplayers then Stormtroopers at comic con. Yes I’d like to see them fight but for now I’d like to size up the Deadpool mania in cosplay form.


Alrighty…this ain’t bad since well he’s actually got muscles. Painted on muscles but muscles which makes him look slightly less insane then me in the Iron Man getup. Oh crap…no one knew that was me. But like the rule with tights, you gotta be able to recognize that unless you got the body, you’re gonna look funky. Also your junk is quite visible but a true Deadpool cosplayer does not fear such a thing…he INVITES IT!!!!




I don’t know if it’s an optical illusion since his head is so weird and massive or the guns are so damn small. Come on man!! What kind of Deadpool fan would use such small guns? Go all Liefeld on it and get some big ass guns!!!


WHEN I GROW UP, I WANNA BE BIG AND STRONG LIKE DEADPOO!!!
You know….in my home country, a man could be shot for a lot less then dressing up like this. Heavens to Betsy. If it wasn’t for the bagginess of the outfit that makes him look like Widdle Wade then I’d have thrown a fit by now. I wonder if I can feed him Pez or a mushroom which would make him grow.

Ah…the cream of the crop


Hey now. And she’s actually accurate in the way she’s dressed right down to the gun.







See? Awesome. Notice all the details and such but the most important question on everyones mind is: “Is she hot?”







Holy Asthmatic Alice!!! I’ve become emotionally erect. In case you didn’t know, her name is Tallest Silver. I don’t know if that’s a real name but it sounds like a strippers and that’s all I need to know. She’s a regular cosplayer at these things and she’s kinda nutty. Whether its in the bad or good way is remained to be seen but she’s a lot of fun you know that for sure now.





Merc with something in her…what? Oh…..hi guys. Well anyway this nearly wraps up our cosplay crap. I hope you all learned some valuable lessons here. Now I have to go and uh…um…take care of something with these pics and….just go’way.


BUT!!!! Check out Cristina Vee first

www.cristinavee.com