As the election for the fate of California begins to draw near, we as a state are left with two choices: A maniacal lying, cold hearted CEO republican or a soft old ineffectual career politician. Now I take my right to vote seriously, mostly in things like porno rating websites, amateur comedy websites and some other random crap. And now due to the sad state of the economy, we all have to pay close attention. California was once the Golden state, for the gold rush, the financial opportunity and getting the most paper and stacking the hottest hoes. Now Cali is known as the Golden state in the special way that R. Kelly is known for giving golden showers.
And my god! It’s like we got the short bus of politicans. We have fucking Gavin Newsome where every liberal hoe bag wants to blow him since he’s all for being green, offering amnesty to illegals, banning plastic bags and obnoxiously proclaiming that gays are an unstoppable force. Oh and he lies on his financial accounts for San Fran. On the other end of the spectrum we got Arnold as a mismanaging republican who with little politicL experience, tipped over the financial stability by allowing mismanaging accounts to amuck. A MUCK I SAY! Who was the damn accountant? MC Hammer? Then he takes our biggest industry, film and makes SURE to send jobs away to Toronto and Australia by taxing the shit out of film companies for renting locations. What was his job before governor again? And the best one on the list is Villarigosa who goes to Mexico to make deals with their government when it’s not even his job as a fucking mayor to do so, and while facing a cheating scandal among other scandals which lead to one big scandal. It's like LOST but really not as cool. If we had a Miss California to represent the condition of the state it’d be Lindsay Lohan: shinning with potential in the beginning but what man would want her now? God this state is more botched then Tara Reid’s boob job.
Talk about high…we’ll we got that pot thing we’re trying to pass which would be great except that the Federal government wouldn’t recognize it, still making it illegal to have pot. Believe me when I say that I’m not a big pot smoker and I believe it’s more of a public health issue rather a criminal, but far be it for me to stop idiots from destroying brain cells and lungs and claim that it’s good for you because it’s natural and from the earth. HEY! Captain Einstien! Snake venom is also from the earth but it’s actually bad for you. Argument lost. Would be make money from it. Yea but it’s not exactly a worldwide product which would garner us a ton of money in the end (since everyone else grows it). But it wouldn’t hurt. And then the gay marriage thing where it would make sense on every level to actually let gays marry on economic levels as well as being an equality issue. What reason do they have against it? It’s not natural. Neither is anal sex but making it illegal still ain’t gonna stop anybody. Only real reason we don't let gays marry is that domestic partnerships aren't recognized financially so gays lose their 401K's and property, which go to the state government.
So with all these issues we need a leader that’s strong. Who has a vision from California. A mighty man who can lead us in all directions to be a leader in every field and lead us back in the fray of being a leader. So I nominate Phil Jackson to run as the Governor of California.
Yes Phil Jackson with his big ass 6’8 frame can literally beat those who oppose him. A man who can bring the senate, the Democrats and Republican, together like he did for Kobe and Shaq and lead them to the NBA finals and to victory. Someone who is dating a hot ass woman, Jeanie Buss.
Yes. Phil Jackson is hitting that. So why not vote for him? With his powerful triangle offense, he’ll use it in a way that I can insert a basketball related analogy regarding politics and/or economics. Phil Jackson, because there isn’t anyone else better.
Seriously, look at us as a state. The last election was so quiet that I’m surprised anyone voted. And the election before that was a joke with Gary Coleman, Mary Carey and your mama running for office. And no one voted for your mama. I’m surprised that Jesse Jackson or Al Sharpton didn’t run in the damn thing since they run for office of president every damn election. What’s worse is the LA times, the state’s biggest paper, nominated…..no one. They literally do not support any candidate, saying that they all suck worse than your first time having sex. And that’s pretty damn bad.
However it looks like Meg might be the winner here. Why? Because she’s just spent 1.4 million dollars in ads and she’s still spending!!! If she continues she’ll spend enough money that would’ve have actually gotten us out of debt if she contributed to the state of California. Holy shit. You know what I can do with 1.4 million dollars? I probably wouldn’t use it to better anyone else’s life other then my own but I would REALLY better my own life in a huge way. And most of her damn ads are lies against Jerry Brown.
How much has ol Jerry Spent? $377,00. That’s it. Most of the campaigns you see on TV are from unions and private interest groups. Not that that’s a bad thing since the level of cuts and lay offs are killing us. We got 12.8 percent of unemployment and thanks to the goddamn 2/3rds majority vote thing, the republicans and democrats are just vetoing the shit out of each other. Last month we had no budget set to pay state employees. That’s bad because if we can’t pay the guys who work unemployment, we’s fucked. And the thing is that if you work unemployment, you can’t claim unemployment because you’re working 40 hours a week for unemployment but not being paid for it because the state hasn’t agreed on a budget plan. And you know that they got temporary unemployment workers? Yea. So when they’re done and not needed anymore for when the unemployment level drops, they can claim unemployment because they are not working anymore, thus raising the level of unemployment again, thus leads to them getting a call back and lowering the unemployment level.
So come on Jerry. Quit being the typical democrat. It’s bad enough the dems can’t show any initiative and fucking roll over like and take it on the chin with republicans giving the money shot. Spend. Get angry. Push forward and fucking talk! Go on the attack! Oh fuck it….I’m voting for Phil. We’re all fucked in 2012 anyway.
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